Happy Eggcidents

Serves 4 | 1.5 Hours Total

1 Package of firm/extra firm tofu
½ cup celery minced
¼ cup red onion minced
1 dill pickle minced or 2 TBS sweet relish
¼ cup vegan mayo
2 Tbs dijon
3 Tbs yellow mustard
2 Tbs lemon juice
1 Tbs parsley
1 Tbs dill
Celery salt & pepper to taste

Note: Use fresh herbs when possible.

If you’re lucky enough to have a tofu press, whip it out. If not, press your tofu like in the ancient times using paper towel and place anything heavy you have laying around on top of it. This will help with the overall consistency, trust us.

Crumble the tofu to your desired “egg” consistency in a large bowl and mix in all of the ingredients.

You can serve immediately, but we recommend having it sit in the fridge for a bit. This will help the flavors give a chance to mingle as a group all together nicely.

Turn your “egg” into a salad or better yet, a sandwich! Grab yourself some focaccia (or your preffered bread choice) and layer with egg salad and fresh arugula. Enjoy!
Note: Keeps in fridge 4-5 days.
Do you ever have a day that turns out better than eggspected? Well, just like this recipe this day in particular was more than that. Serve this dish up any way you like, but if there’s one thing we can offer it’s that you make this more than once because it’s eggcelent.

Summer 2017.

This summer in particular was truly one of the most productive I’ve ever had. I laugh as I say that because I just got done telling you about how much I was crying and walking around like a psychopath. But hey, in my defense, you show me a dodo video or tell me I’m pretty, I’m certain I can make a sweater out of tears, just like Spongebob. So now that I’m thinking about it I would like to redact my judgmental laughter because me crying isn’t anything to be ashamed about. Glad I could sort this out.

Anyway, back to me bragging about my great summer. From June until October every Monday—Friday from 6-10pm I was a part of the Academy at Black Box. For all you investment bankers, lawyers, and accountants I’ll explain Black Box in a moment but first, I would like to let you know that my venmo is @Alex-Nolen and I really appreciate your constant support of the arts.

Ok, back to the story. Black Box is an acting studio in Chicago that focuses on supplying actors with the tools to own their self worth and be fearless. It sounds simple but trust me this program is not for the faint of heart. For 100 days you learn the method, practice the method and truly morph into the most professional and savvy version of yourself. I met amazing people and really challenged myself to say ‘f*ck it, I am enough’. Which is a crazy concept right? When you say it out loud it almost sounds ridiculous. But hey, my mind is a wild fortress that doesn’t always cater to solitude and damnit I deserve the constant reminder...and so do you. Hey, The Anol Vegan here to say you’re enough.

But, I digress. Almost nightly I would get out of class around 10-10:30pm, make my way home and do my homework because I worked during the day serving the great American people. I would usually make myself a little snack paired perfectly with a glass of alcohol. Then, I’d read a play, memorize my side by doing some punctuation walks (I’ll show you if you ask, it will only cost me my pride) and all the other parts of the Black Box process.

One night after having a mental breakdown in class (remember when I said this was the best summer ever) I got home and made myself a tequila grapefruit (heavy on the tequila, light on the grapefruit) and I realized I had nothing but random ingredients in my fridge. A couple slices of bread, a package of tofu, celery, red onion, some pickles and various condiments. Somehow, someway, I managed to make a bowl full of this tofu “egg” salad and I ate the whole thing in my underwear on my bed, which during that time rested on the floor (another story for another time).

Later, it hit me that I just in fact created an Anol Vegan original recipe. Just when it felt like everything was going to sh*t, I made one of my favorite things.

Whenever I make my tofu “egg” salad now, I listen to happy tunes and visualize myself laugh-crying on my bed chugging tequila and I will always be thankful for the summer of 2017.

We’ve shared our playlist to assist you with your tofu “egg” salad making. Each song has a happy memory attached. We encourage you to make your own happy ‘eggcident’ playlist. Please share with us if you do.

©The Anol Vegan 2021